Advertising Secrets Revealed

Not many people know this, but the “John Jackson” brand is just that, a name decided upon by a brainstorming session in a pub, attended by many top names in the field of promotional expertise;  Chris Johnson for one. It was recognised as an immensely saleable name, and joins that list of immortal and unforgettable brand names such as “Mr Kippling” and “Cillit Bang”.


The thorny issue of advertising was discussed over many a pint by this dedicated band, and the campaign began in earnest with the baking and decorating of a prototype cake. All agreed that this was the way forward, so much so in fact, that a launch party was given which was attended by all the big nobs in the coal and cake fields. And Ryan. Success was guaranteed. 


                                 The launch party in full swing.


Unfortunately, the cakes never made it as far as the general public, as the company baking facility could not keep pace with demand from the shop floor. The next stage in the quest for world domination would have to be brought forward. Head brainstormer, Isambard K. Langford, arranged to re-paint the entire fleet of British Rails’ coal trucks in Craftsmaster “Jacko Green”, and have them sign-written in the company style. He got as far as the mock up before anyone at BR found out, but had to abandon the grand plan as it turned out that the ex-New Street signalman was not the authority that had been assumed.

The last resort was finally resorted to; we just had to paint all of our coal bags in the company style instead. This has proved fairly successful, as nearly every propellor on the canal has been fouled by one of our personalised bags, thus ensuring that all boaters have our telephone number readily to hand on the occasion of that “cooler night”. © John Jackson 2014